Forced to Hide! A farewell to all that read


Matthew 18:6 KJV
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Ezekiel 22:23-31 NIV
Again the word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, say to the land, ‘You are a land that has not been cleansed or rained on in the day of wrath.’ There is a conspiracy of her princes within her like a roaring lion tearing its prey; they devour people, take treasures and precious things and make many widows within her. Her priests do violence to my law and profane my holy things; they do not distinguish between the holy and the common; they teach that there is no difference between the unclean and the clean; and they shut their eyes to the keeping of my Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them. Her officials within her are like wolves tearing their prey; they shed blood and kill people to make unjust gain. Her prophets whitewash these deeds for them by false visions and lying divinations. They say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says’—when the Lord has not spoken. The people of the land practice extortion [the practice of obtaining something through force and threats] and commit robbery; they oppress the poor and needy and mistreat the foreigner, denying them justice. “I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one. So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my fiery anger, bringing down on their own heads all they have done, declares the Sovereign Lord.”

From Wikipedia [link]
Extortion (also called shakedown, outwresting, and exaction) is a criminal offence of unlawfully obtaining money, property, or services from a person, entity, or institution, through coercion. Refraining from doing harm is sometimes euphemistically called protection. Extortion is commonly practiced by organized crime groups. The actual obtainment of money or property is not required to commit the offense. Making a threat of violence which refers to a requirement of a payment of money or property to halt future violence is sufficient to commit the offense. Exaction refers not only to extortion or the unlawful demanding and obtaining of something through force,[1] but additionally, in its formal definition, means the infliction of something such as pain and suffering or making somebody endure something unpleasant.[2]

Imagine a church that would threaten Widows, Orphans, the Poor and the Needy simply to save face. Pretty unbelievable and totally contrary to the Scriptures. Well, this has happened and I will explain why.

I am a full-time volunteer at an organisation that has a children’s home and a home for un-married woman. The organisation also helps the needy. This is a Faith-based organisation and I do not draw a salary or stipend. I do not hold a position on the board. Some local NCMI churches have found out that this blog is associated to me as my name has been open to everyone who cared to read. I have had church elders come to my place of work and threaten to pull all support if I do not close this blog down. This is not support for me, but rather support for the children in the homes that care for 60 odd souls. This risks their lively-hood! NCMI has a great influence in my town among other churches. Such a threat should not be taken lightly.

The Current state of the Blog

The last post to be posted concerning NCMI was penned August 18, 2011. This blog is not inactive however. The comment section is very much alive. I have dutifully moderated the comments on this blog since its inception in 2008. For 5 years it has garnered just over 60000 views and 528 comments. The reason I have not written anything regarding NCMI in recent years is because I have nothing to say. This site is not about gossip, but about education. It is meant to be a check and balance to a largely uncontested heterodox church.

Why is this blog still running after 5 years?

This blog is still running for a multitude of reasons. I do not believe in being pressured into doing something by bullies. My reasons follow

  1. NCMI is a truly hurtful movement. Working in Ministry we are confronted by the debris of this hurt on a regular basis. There are so many that have been negatively touched by NCMI’s hurtfulness
  2. Not one NCMI congregant has ever come on this site and felt remorse for the horrors occurring in the church.
  3. I believe that there needs to be an offset. The problems within NCMI are clear. I would not be posting this now if they were not manipulative.
  4. This site has helped many
  5. This site has given the hurt a voice
  6. This administration has never adverted, manipulated or tried to make the conversation anti-NCMI. All comments on this site (regardless of which side of the fence) have been approved with the exception of profanity
  7. This site is more that what I have published. It is the sum of many comments from many people. Many of whom took a great risk writing what they did and many of whom spent considerable amounts of time penning their comments.
  8. This site has always asked for a reasonable reply from NCMI leadership, instead we got untruthful, un-biblical hogwash to back themselves up. Such as in the case of Piet Lombard

A Biblical Basis for this Site

When this site started, I was angry at the hurt what the church was dishing out on people. It was clear something was wrong. Very soon this anger faded, but the site continued to exist and be updated. Perhaps the roots of this site were not biblical but when the anger faded I have endeavored to ensure a biblical process on the site.

  • Luke 17:3 – If your brother sins, rebuke him
  • Ephesians 5:11 – Do not have fellowship with sin, but reprove it.
  • 2 Timothy 2:24-26 – The Lord’s servant must correct those who have been taken captive by the Devil.
  • 2 Timothy 4:2-4 – Preaching the word requires us to “reprove and rebuke”
  • Matthew 18:15-17 – “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
  • 2 Timothy 3:1-5 – …There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
  • Titus 1:13 – This saying is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith
  • Titus 1:9 – He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.
  • 1 Timothy 5:20 – But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning

Strongest among these passages are the passages that speak about love. I have invited countless people from NCMI into my home. I have fed NCMI congregants and I have supported people from NCMI via counselling. I pray that God can help me to love, but at the same time to stand STRONG on the mighty Word of God. I commit that I will continue to be there for any child of God and offer my love regardless of if you are NCMI or not. I will not agree with your church, but I will understand you, and love you (I Pray)

What has been done to protect the children?

I have removed all mention of my name from this site. I have now been forced to once again be anonymous. Many regular posters on this site will know my name and I ask you to respect my privacy. Any post that mentions my name has been edited to show my name as “Forced to Hide”. I did edit your posts, by be assured besides the edit of the name, nothing else has been changed.

Beyond that I have decided to bow to the pressure in a sense. I have no right to delete and destroy the multitudes of comments that exist on this site. That would not be fair on these people and I am not comfortable with that. The pressure that is being received on the organisation has been so intense that the blog has become a liability. To continue with the blog would jeopardize peoples lives. If I continued to own this blog, the growth of the organisation will be effected. The pressure is great, the extortion is great, the blackmail is great.

This is why I have decided to give this blog up. I will no longer be publishing any more materials and I will no longer be moderating the comments. Real truths will be silenced and as the future of the children is in the balance, a lot of prayer has followed.

I have a good friend, who is a student of theology, has been in the NCMI sphere and who is soft hearted, patient and Godly. I believe that if their is any form of justice, this man can bring that about in a way that is biblical. I am handing the blog over to him to do with as he pleases. Giving him the blog, I made the following suggestions:

  • Should he choose to continue with the blog he should consider keeping his identity secret. This is a lesson I learnt. My family has been threatened and I don’t want the same for him
  • If he feels that the blog should be deleted, he should pray into the matter – seek guidance from God and do what is answered
  • I asked him to keep the blog biblical based, and exhort truths with a heart of compassion

I am unsure of what he will do but it is his baby now.


I have very little doubt that removing my name from this blog will make any difference now. The churches who are threatening know who I am. They have demanded the removal of this blog. All I can say is that this has been an emotional rollo-coaster. It has been an uphill battle, and the face of the enemy has become clear.

It also has been a good ride, with many testimonies, fellowship and revelations. I hope that this blog has helped people to make informed decisions when joining a church, and to shed the control that entangles them.



    1. I’m shocked to hear that NCMI churches have threatened to withdraw support for the children’s home unless you close your blog. Today I will make copies of this whole site so that it if ever disappears I can perhaps try to relaunch it in another way. Over the years it has been a huge help to my recovery and sanity. Hugs to you both, thanks for giving us all a voice.

    2. Dear Peyerwriteslittle
      Please will you contact me directly. I have just spent hours reading this entire blog (or at least a big chunk) FOR THE FIRST TIME .
      It was cathartic. I have to speak with you and hopefully the previous editor . I am also a NCF survivor. I have found SO much freedom and release in hearing others be brutally frank about their experiences . I am not alone!!!

      1. Hi,

        Although I have experience with NCMI relating churches and share concerns Ichoose not to choose a side and just keep the blog open, because I believe that people’s onions are important.

        I Will send your details to the original author and I am sure he will contact you

  1. I just stumbled across this last night as my husband and I were chuckling over some of my more humorous experiences with NCMI and I googled my old church/school to see if there was any news…which caused me to stumble upon the wiki page. I am sincerely glad to see the critics section and the footnotes/links. And I am very glad to see this site is still up and running.

    What I have learned from years of physical and spiritual abuse is the incredible healing that starts to take place once a light is shone on the issues. It is a painful process to walk through, but the path to healing is well worth the struggle. Sometimes walking that path exposes very ugly wounds and scars festering from neglect and further trauma. And shining a light will always uncover people who will attack the light-bearer.

    My reality, being so much better simply because I was born in a nation that affords me a plethora of rights and protections…well, I have definitely heard that I should stay silent and be grateful. I should have just walked away and “let God handle it”? I was also brainwashed and literally trained to protect my abusers at all costs. And certainly, for decades, didn’t understand what was happening. There is a state of suspended disbelief for many who attend these types of churches.

    It’s a thought I have mulled over often in a sort of sad survivors guilt that I know will never fully leave me. But in many ways I find a level of disconcerting complacency in those thoughts. Almost as though I want to ignore the overwhelming and seemingly hopeless issues that pervade the subject of abuse just for a moment to regain some peace of mind. A common road block to accepting the fundamental commonalities of abuse and how people become so callous and adversarial towards victim/survivors like me because we tamper with ingrained belief systems.

    There are times when I will have a genuinely deep conversation with a friend discussing the path I have taken away from the abuse. A path out of the insanity of ultra evangelical Christianity and veiled legalism. A world of so much loss and no true gain. Except maybe life experience. People remind me of how much I have learned and grown pretty much every time it comes up. It’s well-meaning encouragement of course, but I am no longer enamored with the concept of it being some badge of courage and achievement. I no longer have this intense desire to share the story to glazed eyes and nods of general misunderstanding. Why? Because the story still haunts me in small yet devastating ways. And the more I seek to heal and be honest with myself, the more I peer into a Pandora’s box of wounds and scars. And it isn’t pretty. And when it isn’t pretty and neatly packaged in a happy ending, people, even with the best of intentions, typically want you to shut up.

    But people do have it worse than me. Far worse. And I think about this often as well.

    I ponder: How to acknowledge the two jointly as abuse, both serious, and pernicious. How to use the experiences and insight in some positive way.

    And I always come back to the best way to start: using truth to shine a light on serious issues of abuse facing us today throughout the world. Unfortunately, this means exposing skeletons. And sometimes that means we all end up with mud in our face from the digging. I am okay with that. I am incredibly grateful that the moderators of this blog have been okay with that as well. It shows a deep personal integrity, and and outreaching of love towards others despite the personal cost.

    I have deep insight into NCMI. I personally know or have known many of the main leaders of the movement. I have many family members and friends who are or have been in leadership in an NCMI affiliated church. I have been a leader to those who now lead. I have cared for and helped indoctrinate many children who now continue in NCMI today. I supported and encouraged people in their abuse of others. I even carried many of these abusive stances and false doctrines to other churches. I did not understand what I was doing, but I will not excuse myself from my part. I have long left this behind, but many have not. I have already suffered much attack and ridicule for speaking out. For this reason I have decided to remain anonymous here for now- especially since it does not affect my message.

    For my part, I repent, and I am sorry. I ask forgiveness for my part in perpetuating the abuse while I myself was being abused. I wish with all my heart I could undo what has been done. I am heartbroken for all of you. And I am more sorry than you can possibly imagine. There are no words that are enough.

    I hope that all of you walking through the path of healing will find some solace in this site that you are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not an outcast. And your story matters. The truth can be painful, but it will set you free. And in freedom you can heal.

    I hope you find abiding peace and loving people throughout your journey. I promise it does get better.

    1. Thank you for posting, and thank you for saying sorry.

      In the first few years after I left the thing that upset me the most was the judgement of people who were my friends inside NCMI. I knew well their opinion of others who had left. They were alway “sad” that the people who left had turned out so bad, after all that they had done and taught them. The leaver become “lost” and used by the devil and is now unsuccessful, could have been on team, could have had Gods blessing. But now against “Gods will” they left and their life is now a failure. They are now in a bad church model or not in church at all. They were unfaithful and broke a sacred covenant. They had to be cut off because they are now no good to anyone and just a complete bad influence.

      That is how I felt people thought of me. I know these are the kinds of things people said about others who left. That is the period I felt suicidal.

      It did get better.

      Now many years later almost all of those people who I felt were judging me have left NCMI. Some of their churches disintegrated. Many of their children no longer go to church. Some left NCMI and changed the way they behaved and their church was run for the better. Most of them probably have wounds and heart aches too.

      I possibly attacked them on here, calling for them to become honest and think about what they are doing. I’m sure that hurts too. Yes shining a light on skeletons is messy.

      At this point, for my circle of NCMI friends there are so many broken people I wouldn’t even hope they they would say sorry. They now know. I love them all, forgive them, I mean, they really were just doing what they were told and what they thought was right. They had good intentions, just like I did. I am also sorry for my part in NCMI and my life is my sorry. Honesty and doing what is right is so very important to me now to live a better way is success for me.

    2. Thank you for your sincerity and honestly After reading your heartfelt apology I fell that I know you. Such is the integrity of the man you are. Wishing you well .

  2. I would be sad to see this blog disappear. As have many on this site, I also had a very bad experience and for a long time I thought I was at fault and that maybe I just wasn’t good enough. It was only after reading similar stories here that I realised that I am far from alone in what I experienced and what I was feeling. The blog has been a tremendous help in allowing me to see more clearly and also to move on.

    I think it is very sad that you have been threatened by the very people who are supposed to be leaders in the body of Christ – those who are supposed to encourage, support, love and care for all people, especially widows, orphans and the poor and needy.

  3. As Easter approaches this Sunday, I am reminded of an invite I received from my new neighbor Tyrone Daniel four years ago. My husband told me to take a good look and tell him what I saw: a young family of 5 living in a $600,000.00 plus home,brand new Harley, Cadillac Escalade, and Range Rover. I reviewed the invite which listed the give aways for Easter Sunday and asked, “what does all this have to do with Jesus?” The truth is “nothing”. Please pray for my family, my neighborhood and my country, as we celebrate the greatest gift ever given, Jesus. May his love deliver us all!!!

  4. I was part of an NCMI church in the UK for 7 years ! I began to have reservations and concerns about the way they treated people , often people would leave and they were never mentioned again . We used to just think they must have done something bad so we never asked , with hindsight this was probably part of the control , it’s only when you start to get abused yourself that the reality hits home ! You were taught that you had to be at every meeting , even when my father was terminally I’ll I put pressure on myself to make the meetings yet when the pastors wife’s parents were ill there was a sermon about the seasons in our lives allowing her time out to draw alongside them . It was apparent that people who fitted the biblical criteria for leadership were over looked in favour of young 20 somethings , people new to Christianity or new to the organisation . These groups are groomed because they are malleable easy to deceive and manipulate . They are lavished with attention and become devoted followers. These same people stand behind you after the meetings listening in to your conversations reporting back to senior management . I know this to be fact because I heared one asking ” who should I stand behind ? Hearing my name I turned quickly and saw them disperse . Another occasion the church and another local church came together ! I was chatting to my pastor as the pastor from the other church approached , hearing that I had recently had a healing he asked if I would share in the meeting which I agreed to do ! Then as the other pastor moved away my pastor followed him and I saw them having a conversation. That night I did not get to share my story but resigned myself to the fact that they had just forgotten me on their meeting schedule ! But afterwards it was niggling at me and wondered if my pastor had said anything about me so after several weeks I decided to confront my pastor about the matter! He fervently denied that his conversation with the other leader was anything to do with me and I felt so guilty that I had even mentioned it and felt awful that I had thought he would do that to me . My pastors wife suggested that if I wanted to know the reason I was missed off the meeting schedule I should see the other pastor so I said I would . The next day at church my pastor looked very sheepish asking if I had made contact with the other pastor and he seemed worried and didn’t want his wife involved in our conversation ! He told me his memory had returned and he did remember having a conversation with the other pastor and it was about me , he had told him that it wasn’t appropriate for me to share as I had missed a recent meeting at my church ! It makes me angry how these people go around being so self righteous when they are full of deceit and manipulation ! Often you would get an invite to a meeting but be told to keep it secret all part of the charade of making other people who are entitled to be there feeling excluded ! Thankfully I’m now out of their clutches . Not long after I left probably half the church saw the light and there was a mass exodus . You might ask why I stayed so long , well abuse is very sibtle and you think things will get better , you find that you have invested a lot of time, money and effort and you know if you leave you will be forgotten as though you never existed , people will be sceptical and encouraged not to contact you . I speak about this in the hope of saving others from these ungodly people and I have only spoken out about this recently as my relatives still went there and I was fearful that they might be targeted for additional abuse . Now they are now longer there I feel much happier knowing we are all free , an answer to prayer .

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